The hilarity of finance

A list of jokes that can be made about dark pools:

Entering the dark pool of a stranger

Dropping your kids off at a pool, and then it becomes dark



The great thing about what I do is that people take all these terms seriously but it cracks me up to no end.

For example, yesterday I had to make sure something called a "swaption" worked within our systems.

I was already familiar with a swap and with an option, but a swaption? Are you just messing with me? Is that a word? Apparently it is.

The first thing I did was head to wikipedia, then I just started laughing and yelling out quotes to the people around me who started doing the same. Highlights:

"An example illustrating the use of swaptions is: Joe is in Mexico and he knows there's an election coming up" - And then Joe decides to move out of Mexico?

"Joe and Dave engage in a swap" - Hey, keep that kind of stuff to yourself.

"However, they don't do the swap yet because Joe's debt is about to expire" - Wait, now I have to reread the last five paragraphs.

"Here is another scenario: Doug's Tractor Company needs to engage in a swap for the following reason" - I reject your scenario including the word tractor and swaption in the same sentence.

"The valuation of swaptions is complicated.." - You don't say.

"the result depends on several factors: the time to expiration, the length of underlying swap, and the "moneyness" of the swaption" - Moneyness, really? Now I have to make jokes about that you bastards.

"Given these complications, quantitative analysts attempt to determine relative value between different swaptions" - Holy crap, swaption arbitrage.

My opinion is that nobody fully understands the whole picture, just their little piece. When I see this stuff it just makes me wonder how long it will take until zombies walk the streets eating young children who aren't quick enough.